The random thoughts of a history-loving bookworm who loves to cook

Mmmmmmmm Meat Balls

2012-01-22T20:16:00.000+11:00

So it seems that I am back..........

My latest recipe (which is actually swiped from my mother) is chicken meatballs served with pasta.

First take 500grams of chicken mince, add an egg and breadcrumbs to your desired consistency, I didn't measure I just went by texture. Add herbs and spices, I used garlic and mixed Italian herbs. Mix using a fork (or your hands, it's more fun). Once mixed and to your desired consistency shape into 12 balls and shallow fry until lightly browned.

Remove meatballs from pan and place on paper towel, remove excess oil and then add onion, capsicum, mushroom, tinned corn, zucchini (any assortment of vegetables), extra herbs and cook until soft. Add a jar of passata or any other store bought or home made tomato based pasta sauce and stir through. Add back meatballs, cover and simmer until sauce has thickened (or whilst you cook the pasta).

This should serve four to six depending on serving size

Before simmering

After simmering

32 Weeks Down

2012-01-21T16:28:00.000+11:00

WOW it really has been a while. Typical me start something and not follow through. Currently 32 weeks pregnant and all is going well. I'm enjoying being pregnant but I still worry that something will go wrong.

I'm counting down the next 8 weeks and I am very very eager to meet my little one. We decided not to find out the sex of the baby and, at first, I though I was having a boy but now I'm not so sure. Most people keep telling me it's a girl (based on the way I'm carrying) and now I'm starting to think that way too.

Today was exciting, we bought the cot, cot mattress, change table and car seat! Now I'm keen to set up the room (which needs a huge clean out as it is currently the junk room). I still have so much to do. We are still to decide on names and seem to be getting nowhere when it comes to boys names, we are about 90% sure of our girls name but that is still going to remain a secret.

Here is a picture of me at 29 weeks - I don't think much has changed since then.

Update

2011-07-19T18:27:00.000+10:00

I'M PREGNANT!

Currently I am 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant, far to early to tell anyone but once again with me and my big mouth. I want to shout it out but can't so posting it here is the next best option. We have decided to tell just a handful of people and once the first trimester is over we will announce it at large.

Although I am happy, I am also scared that something is going to go wrong. As this is an IVF pregnancy (and my first) I am currently being monitored on a weekly basis (3 x blood tests, then scan then referral to obstetrician). My first two blood tests had a good result (1st pregnancy hormone level of 500 - at 4 weeks, 2nd pregnancy hormone level of 6000 - at 5 weeks). Another blood test for 6 weeks on Friday. I'm starting to think that all this monitoring may be adding to my stresses - I keep expecting bad results. This is all so overwhelming at times, given my inexperience and natural talents for worrying it's a wonder I haven't been committed.

I don't know that I really feel pregnant, I am tired and have sore breasts but I haven't really been feeling unwell other than just a few scattered days.

I have been scaring myself with fears of miscarriage as I have been having cramps, and on just a few occasions a small about of spotting (only on toilet paper, and only ever a small amount). This has and is really worrying me (despite being told it is quite normal) and I am living in fear of bleeding, bad blood test results and no heartbeat at my scan (not for another week).

I wish I could just relax and enjoy this - hard as I don't feel I can talk to or burden anyone with my fears and my partner listens but only responds by telling me that everything is fine and we will have our healthy baby in March. I wish I had such positive thoughts.

Send me positive vibes

Update

2011-07-02T14:27:00.000+10:00

WOW, it has been so long since I have written anything.

Been a hard few month for me. My Partner (who is significantly older) and I are currently going through our second IVF cycle (thanks to a past vasectomy). This cycle appears to have given a better result than the last one back in February and March. At 30, and with no fertility problems of my own (Hubby has three children from his first marriage, so there are no problems there) you would think that all should go well for us but our first cycle was heartbreaking and I'm terrified that the same thing will happen again.

Cycle 1 results - 6 eggs collected, 5 mature and 4 successfully fertilised (via ICSI with Hubby's sperm), 3 day transfer - none to freeze, spotting during anxiety filled waiting period and a negative blood test result :o(

Cycle 2 results - 8 eggs collected, 8 mature and 7 successfully fertilised (via ICSI with Hubby's frozen sperm from previous cycle), 5 day transfer - 4 to freeze!! - currently undergoing the anxiety filled waiting period with blood test to be taken on 8th July

I wish I knew the result, each trip to the loo fills me with dread..... I can only hope (and pray) that all has gone right for us this cycle. I can console myself that if this embryo hasn't implanted I still have a few chances before going through the rounds of injections once again. Wish me luck (although implantation would have already occurred by now, if it was going to)

I know that no-one really reads this blog but it helps to talk (or type) about things, and to express my feelings. This is something that I want so much and I'm afraid of having my heart broken again.

Thank you for reading

Funny Cat

2011-03-26T13:51:00.005+11:00

Please watch this video of our cat Tori and her obsession with the washing basket and our clothes. Things like this are a regular occurrence.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-iQog_XGoQ

My Car

2010-10-26T14:02:00.001+11:00

Yesterday on the way to netball I was rear-ended at quite a high speed!!! My poor car! It looks like I will be getting a new one because according to the tow-truck driver and the police it will be written off (you can see into the boot). And ouch I'm quite sore today too.

The man who hit me was lovely and has apologised multiple times, he is also on the ball and has already placed a claim through his insurance company.

The accident happened at the roundabout at Belgrave Hallam Road and Wellington Road, I was on Belgrave Hallam Road and after I was hit my car headed to the left and I ended up on Wellington Road.

I would really like to thank everyone who stopped or slowed down at the roundabout to ask if I was okay. I would also like to thank the young firefighter who stopped then went to work and came back with some colleagues and a fire engine to help with the situation. I would also like to extend a very special thank you to man named Rob or Robbie who stopped and tried to assist me (in many ways) to get a home and get a tow truck (he even offered to drive me home or drive my car and I could drive his). The police organised one in the end. Last but least thank you the police officers and my lovely partner Peter (who I had difficulty in contacting due to phone issues) for all your help.

I don't know why

2010-08-19T18:52:00.001+10:00

I have let this blog go, in the early days I loved writing it but now I feel like I have nothing to share.

I am always busy and either studying or at work (when I'm not reading, cooking, sleeping, procrastinating or being lazy), I feel like I don't do anything worthwhile and I can't wait until these particular units are over and done with so hopefully I can move onto something I will enjoy more.

I hate being such a negative Nancy!! I need to find the positives in my life, things to be thankful for and stop treating myself the way I do. Why do I judge myself so harshly? This has got to stop........

Maybe I should turn this blog into a gratitude blog or at east start getting back into writing it regularly.

My Nana

2010-08-14T11:59:00.001+10:00

My grandmother Lucie Allison Chalmers (aka Nan Jack or Allie) recently passed away and at her funeral on Wednesday I read this poem and I would like to share it here.

The Dash - Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;

The cars, the house, the cash,

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left,

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,

And more often wear a smile

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read

With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

Procrastination and lack of motivation

2010-07-11T12:29:00.000+10:00

I don't know what is wrong with me (well besides a cold). Lately I have had no motivation which is hard when studying. I managed to get a High Distinction for my first assignment but I am now really worried that I'm going to fail the rest of the work I have been handing in.

I have also been not so good with the eating plan and now I feel like I've gained weight (although my new clothes still fit). I feel like I'm not good enough at netball and having a lot of self doubt. How do I get out of this???? It is annoying.

There are a lot of negative thought about myself floating around my head at the moment. I'm trying to ignore them. Why do I always judge myself so harshly?

It has been a while

2010-05-23T16:58:00.001+10:00

Wow, it has been a while..................................................

I have decided that I haven't been reading enough so I took a trip to the library today, I really need to get stuck back into reading. I have also started to study again!!! I am now working 3 days and week and the rest of the week is being used for my studying.

Although a lot has happened I really don't have much to report...... or say.... just plodding along as usual

more to come soon

Tasmania

2010-04-21T19:37:00.000+10:00

Currently I am in a beauiful but sleepy little town in Tasmania called Stanley. Have had a very active few days here and am loving this adventure.

We climbed at Cradle Mountain a few days ago and met some freindly possums. We have see so much in just a few days and there will be much more to see.

This is just a short update and I will write more about this trip when we get home.

Cambodian Children's Trust

2010-04-10T13:45:00.002+10:00

I would just like to draw your attention to the Cambodian Children's Trust and the work they do. I also urge you, if you can, to make a donation to this wonderful organisation. Please click the heading for a link to the website.

"Cambodian Children’s Trust (CCT) is a non-profit NGO running projects to help break the cycle of poverty in the Battambang region of Cambodia. We provide practical, long-term support to some of Cambodia's most vulnerable people". http://www.cambodianchildrenstrust.org/

Tara Winkler and her team are truly inspirational people and I hope that they will be able to continue their good work....I only wish that I had words to express my admiration and wish that I could do more to assist them.

New Eating Plan Update

2010-04-10T12:11:00.002+10:00

Just a quick update on my new eating plan. After a visit to the Natropath on Tuesday I have discovered;

I have lost 1.4kg on the scale
I have lost 3kg of fat and increased my muscle mass
I have lost 4cm from all over my body
I have also made other improvements to how my body functions

Here are a few more photos

Taken 5th March 2010

Taken 10th March 2010

Taken 10th March 2010

We are off to Tasmania on the 18th!!! I can't wait!

Dog Bite Update

2010-04-05T10:17:00.003+10:00

I told my mother about the dog bite and I have now been ordered to do the following;

Go to the Doctor
Tell the owners that one of his dogs bit me
Make him pay the doctors bill
Go and see her on Wednesday so she can see it

I have decided to do numbers 2 & 4 (but I won't tell her that)

Here is an update of the dog bite - 2 days later

The Day of The Dogs

2010-04-03T20:43:00.004+11:00

So today for me has been the day of the dogs, I have always been cat person ever since I got my first cat Mango Juice at the age of 2 and half. I became a dog and cat person when I got my beautiful Tilly in 2006 and today I have been surrounded by Dogs.

I saw cute puppies at the pet shop, we left the house for a walk to run into a beautiful Golden Retriever named Curley and her lovely little friend Sue, saw more dogs in the park and then on a street near home we were accosted by four dogs I have previously though of as cute, the Jack Russell or Foxy made a play for Pete and as I was telling him to ignore them (they were surrounding us barking) and keep walking one of the other dogs (I'm not sure of their breed) decided to take a nip at me!! OUCH it hurt....... they keep going for us until their owner came out and called them back.. at this stage we were almost around the corner so we didn't say anything to him. The owner of the dogs has a few beautiful little girls who were playing in the street when this happened (they were saying sorry to us)..... the dogs were in the garage but came running to us when we got near the girls (we have seen the dogs and girls several times before).

Here is my dilemma... do I go and tell the owners that one of their dogs bit me and another attempted to bite my partner or do I let it go. The only reason I even ask is because they may have thought they were protecting the girls from us but I still worry that it could happen again to one of the little girls.

What should I do??

The walk ended well though because we ran into one of the neighbors and her beautiful little Jack Russell Toby who sat on my foot and wanted pats the whole time we were talking...... I still like dogs (and cats of course).

I know in the photo it doesn't look much but I bruise easily so it may be black and blue tomorrow.

Good Friday

2010-04-02T13:20:00.004+11:00

I can't have any Chocolate or Hot Cross Buns this Easter!! :o( But it will be worth it - my new eating plan is going well (despite being a lot of work) and once my five weeks are up I still intended to maintain a lot of the recipes etc as unless I follow through completely and maintain my new weight this whole exercise will have been pointless.

I am very pumped today and I can notice a light difference!! I have also tried on some clothes that used to be very tight only to find that they are not so very tight. I am going to upload photo to show the difference but at the moment I only have a before shot (taken on the way to little Bro's Baptism on Sunday - I started this on Monday) - more pics to come.

Weekend and New Eating Plan

2010-03-31T20:42:00.003+11:00

I'm exhausted!!!

I had such a busy weekend (Saturday night that was a lot of fun but some things may be better left to memory than said on here). I did manage to receive an email on Facebook from a colleague's estranged wife because she was angry at him for going out and didn't like a photo that was on Facebook of the two of us. I can understand why she could be a little irritated/angry at me but it was harmless. He has lost a lot of weight and was showing off his newly thinner stomach and I PRETENDED to lick it in a photo (not a wise decision I agree, but that is what wine does to me).

I'm in a happy and good relationship and I do like to have fun with friends/colleagues and "mess with their minds" on the odd occasion but there is no way on earth I would do anything to loose what I have with Peter and he was there when the photo was taken! I would also never do anything to disrupt another relationship. Anyway this is what she sent me;

Amazing Hey: a man can have a ring on his finger yet women still cross the boundaries.

After mentioning the email to my colleague and Peter I have decided not to respond to it, I don't want to cause any more problems. So now lesson learned, do not drink and take silly photos as they may come back to bite you in the bum!

My little Brothers Baptism was great, he is also in the church band and was singing most of the songs. There were three others being Baptised with him and they ranged in age from 9 to 54 (approx) and their testimonies were great to listen too, especially the older man and my little Brother (he has had quite a lot of issues and problems and his faith has helped him through). The young boy has his whole life planned out and wants to be a missionary in China.

After the services we went back and had a nice family lunch which included my Mother, Step Mother (little bro's mum), Father, Sister (twin of little bro) and some family friends and of course Pete. It was a good chance for me to do the "Big Sister Thing" and tell stories about him as a little tacker.

I have also this week started a new diet/meal plan through my Natropath. It is high protein and almost no carbs (but I love pasta and brown rice and bread) and supplements. I have to eat three meals and two snack per day as well as take supplements. At the moment it is taking forever each evening to prepare my dinner for that night, breakfast, lunch and snacks for the next day. I also need to do a bit more exercise and hopefully within a month or so I will be slimmer and have no stomach problems.

I even had to watch my friend eat hot chips (my favorite) today and I couldn't have any! I am determined to follow this through to the latter and the meals are yummy (some are a bit bland). I just hope that I can eat the occasional junk food, pasta and rice in the future. BACK ON THE NO ALCOHOL SINCE SUNDAY.

Wish me luck

Mali & Pathi Harn

2010-03-26T21:01:00.008+11:00

I just had to share these photos of the beautiful baby elephants recently born in Melbourne and Sydney.

Mali - (Jasmine Flower in Thai)

I

Mali was born in Melbourne to Dokkoon and is our newest favorite girl!!

Mali is very lucky to have her lovely Mother (left with her) and her Mother's best friend Mek Kapah as her Auntie (pictured below at the rear, Dokkoon is in the front).

Pathi Harn - (Miracle in Thai) aka "Mr Shuffles"

Pathi Harn was born in Sydney to Porntip and is our newest favorite boy.

His nickname of Mr Shuffles comes from his early attempts at walking.

Pathi Harn's name has a very special meaning - he really is a miracle as it was thought he had died inside Porntip's womb during his birth!

Pathi Harn (born March 10th) is the third elephant calf to be born in Australia and his cousin Luk Chai was also born at Taronga Zoo (nine months ago), Mali who was born at Melbourne Zoo (in January) is Pathi Harn's Half Sister. They have all had Buddist blessings after their names were released (they were voted by the public).

Decision

2010-03-25T18:53:00.004+11:00

I'm still getting the hang of this blogging thing, I still struggle with what to write and worry what people will think, but I still want people to read this.

I have now told a few people (other than Peter and my Parents) but now i have to make a decision - to put it on Facebook or not to put it on Facebook???

I'm heading to the Naturopath on Saturday (I'm going to try living a healthy lifestyle and hopefully loose a few kilos) as well as a 30th Birthday and my little Brother's Baptism on Sunday. More to follow..............

St Andrews Market

2010-03-20T16:17:00.008+11:00

Lovely lovely morning with the lovely Peter and my lovely Mum. I stayed with my mum last last night in my home town and this morning Peter came over and he, mum and myself headed up the road to the St Andrews Market.

This market is a little piece of bohemian heaven and I highly recommend a visit. They have everything from fruit and vegetables to hot dogs and other yummy foods, rune readings and healing prayers, second hand clothes and books and some lovely jewelery and crafts, pony rides and the Chai Tent. I also must mention Lillian's lovely Mountain Pate.

A lot of the store holders lost everything on Black Saturday and it is a pleasure to see that the community is moving forward and that the horror of that day has not negatively impacted on the spirit of the locals.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm???

2010-03-17T19:25:00.007+11:00

So today I have a few questions

Are smokers (i am a NON smoker) actually blind to no smoking signs?? I work in the City (Melbourne) and I always notice that people are always smoking where they shouldn't be and where it is clearly marked that smoking is not permitted. It happens everywhere!! Down the little alleys in front of the cafes, buildings and even under covered areas at the station!!! Are they really blind to the signs or are they just naughty??

Who wrote the below in the honesty box on my facebook page? Why? How do I change it? It is true I do worry about what people will think or say if I wear certain clothes and I never really follow through and do my hair and make up as much as I should. Why can't I just wear them and make up and just not worry??

I think Bronwen dislikes herself and wants approval from others a lot of the time. She wants others to like her before she will even consider liking herself. She has potential to be a very attractive young girl but hates drawing attention to herself in case someone finds fault with her. Therefore no one ever sees Bronwen glam up. She is intelligent but far to sensitive for her own good.

Does anyone actually read my blog?? If you do please, please leave me a comment

My Challenge

2010-03-14T14:17:00.004+11:00

I have been thinking and I have decided that lately I have been consuming too much wine. I have come to the conclusion that I need a detox and I am going to have 6 alcohol free weeks.

The challenge commences today. It may be a little hard as I have a few functions coming up but I am determined to do it and I know that at the end of the 6 weeks I will feel healthier and happier. As alcohol is a depressant it can sometimes affect my depression and if I can prove to myself that going without will help me to improve then it may be something that I choose to continue with. Bye bye wine

My Lovely Man xoxoxoxxo

2010-03-13T11:11:00.004+11:00

I am a very lucky woman to have an amazing man like Honey Bear (aka Peter) in my life. He is the kindest, most patient, loving, loyal and genuinely nicest man that I have ever known and I am so privileged to have his love. I suffer from depression and Peter has been the most amazing and supportive partner throughout or relationship. He is always there for me and will do anything for those he cares about. He is the love of my life and I hope her realises how much he means to me.

Love is patient; love is kind.
Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way: it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrong doing, but rejoices in truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
And now faith, hope, and love abide,
and the greatest of these is love.

(Corinthians 13)

I will follow through!

2010-03-06T13:25:00.005+11:00

It has been a while since my last post and I know that I said a future post would be about Emma Hamilton but me in my usual flighty way have started to read Jane Eyre instead!! In my usual style I have become obsessed.

I will follow through with Emma Hamilton but my next post will probably be a review of Jane Eyre.

Dinner part again tonight (also had one last Saturday night) - I'm serving Boeuf Bourguignon and I'm also making eggplant cannelloni - I hope they like it!! I think I'm obsessed with cooking!!!

Eggplant and Chicken Stack

2010-02-23T20:06:00.009+11:00

I know that I said that my posts would be about Emma Hamilton but I just can't help myself!!!!

Slice eggplant into 4 rounds and grill - sprinkle with garlic and a little olive oil whilst grilling. Once grilled place on a baking tray and top 2 pieces with chopped tomatoes and pitted kalamata olives then sprinkle with shredded cheese.

Slice a chicken fillet in half, grill then place on top of the eggplant and tomatoes

top with a store bought pasta sauce and grated cheese

Place the remaining pieces of eggplant on top and top with tomatoes, pasta sauce and kalamata olives

Cover with shredded cheese and Parmesan cheese

Bake in the oven at 180 Celsius until cheese is melted and golden and eggplant and chicken are heated through.

Serve

My Day In The Kitchen

2010-02-20T18:49:00.005+11:00

WOW!! Very busy Kitchen day for me – 3^rd post too!!

We just finished our Lamb Salad!!!

First I marinated the lamb in garlic, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper, lemon juice and olive oil. I then roasted the meat in the over at 180 Celsius for about 2 hours.

After 2 hours I placed some eggplant in with the lamb and put it back in the over for another 30 minutes.

Whilst the meat and eggplant were cooking I made a quick salad using salad mix, tomatoes, cucumber, capsicum, kalamata olives (pitted) and Danish Feta (any Feta will do I just love the Danish one). I also sautéed some onions and mushroom and added this to the salad. The salad was then paced on our individual plates.

Once the meat and eggplant were removed from the oven and the eggplant was placed on the salad I had Honey Bear carve the lamb for (it was at this time that Honey Bear’s Son came in and was very excited that he could have a lamb sandwich he didn’t want salad!!). I then placed the lamb on top of the salad and voila!!!!

As per previous blog Mrs Hamilton to follow soon

Redeeming Myself for the Over Poached Eggs

2010-02-20T13:20:00.005+11:00

I do believe I have redeemed myself for the over poached eggs. I made Bruschetta for lunch and it went down very, very well.

I just toasted up some olive bread in the sandwich press and whilst it was toasting I chopped up some fresh tomatoes (enough to cover all pieces of bread) and mixed through lots of garlic, some Italian herbs (dried mix), salt, pepper, olive oil and some Parmesan cheese. Once bread was toasted I topped it with the tomato mixture and served.

Easy and delicious Bruschetta Bronnie style

Now back to Mrs Hamilton for me but more food to come

Emma Hamilton and Over Poached Eggs

2010-02-20T09:01:00.008+11:00

Happy Saturday Morning!!

Well I don't know how but this morning I managed to over poach eggs!! I can usually get them to a lovely texture and still be a little runny but this morning they were like eating hard boiled eggs!! I have to stop looking at Facebook whilst cooking.

Lovely lunch with the colleagues yesterday as one of our number is departing us for a much better position, I had a delicious lamb salad and a lovely glass of Pinot Gris which of course resulted in being tired for the rest of the afternoon. When will I learn NO WINE AT LUNCH.

Had a nice night with Bestie last night, we just went to a local cafe/bar and had a long chat, I love seeing her belly grow and with about two months to go she is very soon going to have her hands full with a 2 year old and this new bubby. If the new one is anything my fav girl then she will have two very lovely kiddies.

Always love having a chat with Bestie as she can always make me see sense and help me to really think things through before I make my decisions or jump into something too quickly.

I have had a Biography of Emma Hamilton (England's Mistress "the infamous life of Emma Hamilton" by Kate Williams) for a while now and I am still to read it.

In order to motivate myself I have decided to report on the life of "England's Mistress" in my blog. Let the reading commence.

Mmmmmmmm Pasta 18/02/2010

2010-02-18T18:42:00.005+11:00

We lost netball :o(

Few days since I last wrote, I honestly find myself getting lost for words when I get on here to write, I know I'm boring but this is something that I really want to do. Spent the night with my mum last night and got to see the Tilly Dog and the Boys (Murphy and Jasper (the grey boy)).

Back to Honey Bear's place tonight and I cooked the yummiest, richest pasta ever. I usually make a big batch of just a basic meat pasta sauce and freeze it in small amounts. I had some mushrooms and zucchini that needed to be used so I cooked them up with some onion and hot salami and then added the defrosted meat sauce and some extra tomato paste. Served with fettuccine. Honey Bear had two servings and now my diet starts tomorrow.

I have been feeling really dowdy lately and have decided that to is time to overhaul my look. I need to start wearing clothes that fit me and aren't a size too big. I also need to go shopping and get a few nice pieces for work and play. I have even started wearing a bit of make up - just mascara and a light lipstick but it was noticed by Miss E at work and was complemented. I'm going to take everyones advice and not listen to my negative thoughts.

I'm meeting Bestie (best friend and currently know as preggie) tomorrow night but I won't get to see her little one "my fav girl". This sounds really bad but although I enjoy my time with her and the little one and I am excited about the new bubby, I sometimes come away feeling sad. I'm ready to start thinking about having a child, if fact I think about it a lot.

We have agreed to talk about it in more detail in a few months but I am really afraid. I know we will need to use IVF because of Honey Bears snip snip and I'm just really scared that it will never happen for us. Honey Bear already has three children so he really can't understand what I mean when I talk about it. It is very hard to watch all my friends with their children and know that it may not happen for me.

Well off now to visit the "in-laws"

Monday Blues 15/02/2010

2010-02-15T18:04:00.007+11:00

So what to write today????

Earlier than usual morning today as Honey Bear (also know as TOJA, Bastardo or Maltese Shityou) had to start work early and as he would have woken me up whilst getting ready I decided that I might as well go into work early as well. This morning there was a 5.15am alarm call - I struggled out of bed at 5.30am and managed to be at work by 7.30am (after picking up my morning coffee). What was really the point of getting up early to arrive 15 minutes early for work??.... Okay so we just missed the early early train (it was pulling into the station as we were parking the cars*) and we got the early train instead.

Work was uneventful today and I'm guessing that somehow we all had the Monday blues as everyone seemed to be in a bit of a mood until about 2.30pm when we decided that in honour of Shrove Tuesday we will be having a pancake day tomorrow, hence followed several emails between the whole team as to the meaning and point of Shove Tuesday and generally taking the piss put of each other. It may be a boring and repetitive job but I do work with a great bunch of people.

So now at 6.45pm I have a few hours before Honey Bear gets home from Golf and I head off to Netball, I know that there is plenty around the house that I could be doing but I really just want to sit and read my book (The Lovely Bones).

Speaking of things around the house, I had a strange dream last night that I was alone at the house (which wasn't this house but we still lived there). I was alone in the huge garage then I had to go out and I couldn't lock the house or garage because the key was bent, what does that mean?

I must go now as one of the cats wants her 4th dinner of the evening.... sheesh & and she is so little too.

*both cars taken to the station as Honey Bear goes to golf directly from the station on Mondays.

First Post - 14/02/2010

2010-02-14T16:46:00.002+11:00

It's all well and good for me to decide to start up my own blog and believe me this is not on a whim it is something that I've been thinking about for a while but now the thoughts have set in. What will I write about? Who will want to read it?

So I'm sitting here in lounge room on this hot Valentines Day wondering if anyone WILL read this. I know I sound like a bit of a pessimist but I can't help it, I just don't have that breathtaking over confidence that others seem to have.

As I approach my 30th Birthday I realise that if I want my to improve life and myself and achieve what I want to achieve then I need to be proactive and aim to achieve my goals. This blog will be about me trying to overcome my own lack of confidence and gain a stronger belief in myself.

So that's what this will be about... me growing into myself as I enter my 30's